Women In Kitchens: By Anna Tobias

Anna speaks about her experiences being a woman working in kitchens but also how it has shaped and is shaping her future career plans.

Is it possible to achieve a long term, balanced career behind the pass?

I suppose this question in itself demonstrates that there's something wrong with hospitality if you have to ask this about one gender over the other. It feels annoying! The issue, I believe, has more to do with age than gender. The physical demands of service mean it can seem unrealistic to imagine a life long career 'on the line'.

I don't really think that being a woman has majorly defined any aspect of my career so far. I think in the day-to-day of work, I've been an employee like anyone else. The area that perhaps has felt different is more in the media, where I am approached to talk in relation to my gender in a way that doesn't happen so much in my day-to-day work-life.

I think I've personally felt like I have had to be tactical in a way that a man might not feel like they would have to. I felt like I needed to 'achieve' before I had children, as I worried that having children might make 'achievement' and 'success' be more difficult to reach for reasons such as the physical changes your body goes through before and after pregnancy and the fact that you’re likely to need to take significant time out of the work place. Would those things get in the way of progressing in my career?

This is why I prioritised opening a restaurant before having children. The anxiety now is what if that was a mistake? And what if my age now means I'll find it hard to conceive? Will I regret my tactics? These are the pressures of being a woman that I have found stressful but are a reality.

A few words on fertility..

I did decide to freeze my eggs but working in kitchens wasn’t my reason for doing so. My long-term relationship ended and I was concerned because of my age that meeting someone, having children etc could be difficult and so this felt to me like something I wanted and needed to do for myself and to relieve some pressure. But I think you can refer to my point above, which references the pressures I felt around balancing career ambition with the desire to have a family. It's a stressful thing and I think I believed as a younger woman that if you work hard you can get what you want. And this has been true for me from a professional perspective. But that mentality cannot apply to having children - and that is an uncomfortable feeling when you know it's something you want.

If becoming a mother happens for me, which I hope it does, then the hope is that my restaurant will be in a good place and so I will be able to manage my work/life balance in a way that suits me best.

My previous bosses have made being a Mother work alongside a fruitful career, as well as many other women, as far as I can see. For example, Melanie and Margot from Rochelle Canteen both have 3 children and they built an incredibly successful catering business and restaurant together.

Any words of wisdom for others reading this?

Choose your workplace carefully. As much as possible, try to work at places you believe will provide a healthy and safe environment and an atmosphere in which you believe you can thrive. This applies to everyone.